What is so frightening?

Feel free to comment if you think you know the answer or even disagree with me, but what the hell are we women so afraid off?
What are we so afraid of that we do not stand up as a unified group and demand equal rights of the rest of the society?
What are we afraid of losing and what are we afraid of gaining?
Is it not obvious that such a big group as half of the population should not have to have lower salary, work double as much both at home and at work then the other group.
Are women just to stupid? To scared? Are we not capable of organize us to a homogeneous group that demand such a self-evident thing as equal treatment?
I am ashamed to be a part of this, what are we so scared off?


Written under the influence of sleeplessness

Sweden - the equal society

Sweden this democratic, equal society...
He he yeah, I wish. The nurses is on strike now, thousands of them because this equal country can't seem to understand the value of female professions and therefore take for granted that they should be paid less then most other occupations.
But on the surface Sweden really wants to keep up the illusion of being an equal country, now they will even make female way marks on the roads, which actually is kind of funny and yeah why not, but please don't just be equal on the surface, my dear old Sweden.


Written under the influence of a heavy headache and a stiff neck.

A student's lunch

Six feet under

To you lucky bastards who still haven't lived together with this show, and therefore have a six feet under-lifetime ahead of you, watch it. The reality of the show is frighteningly real.

Thank my genes for blond hair

I may have blond moments sometimes, but they have taught me some valuable lessons on how to get out of difficult situations, so they are not all bad.
I'm a student of Warsaw University and therefor I'm entitled to a discount on the train, though this is only valid until you are 26 and well I'm not anymore. So when my parents visited me we decided to check out a town called Torun, and of course i bought a student ticket.
The women on the train checking tickets came, saw my ticket and student pass and started speaking polish in an angry voice. I didn't understand a thing but a friendly young guy told me that since I was older then 26 I had to pay to cost of a normal ticket.
I played of course dumb saying sure I will I didn't understand what was written on the student card about 26 bla bla.
So we go to Torun, a beautiful city by the way.

We are there for the day (not so big city) and when we are satisfied we go to buy train tickets home to Warsaw. I tell mom and dad that I can't possibly be that unlucky to have the same women controlling the tickets on the train again so I buy a student ticket.
Well I guess you can imagine what happened, of course it was the same women, she looks at me then looks at the ticket.
Ohh wait I shouldn't start there, we didn't find any seats in the train so we sat down in first class and there is where she finds us, dads asleep, me and mom comfortable reading in the nice cabin.
So back to the look she gave me, well it is not a friendly look, as you can imagine.
She starts talking in a fast and angry polish voice. I don't understand much but I understand that she says something about - I give you one chance but not two.
I think this is it, I see big fines flashing before my eyes, she wants me to come with her to a special room...
But i keep my cool, sits there and wait for her, don't really know what will happen.
So finally she comes back with two girls who knows English, and i tell them in my most blond voice that I wanted to by a normal ticket but "the lady in the ticket box looked at me and must have thought I was a student so she gave me a student ticket all though I said to her to give me a normal ticket" (helpless blue eyes looking at the ticket lady)
She melts when she hears this very incredible and unbelievable story, smiles to me, we get some kind of connection going on and she only makes me pay up to the amount of a normal ticket, which for me is a very good deal.
Once again my blond hair saves me, thank you.

Written under the influence of Leonard Cohen - Morning Glory

Old people

Old people are rare in Sweden. We have a tendency to lock them in to hospital like rooms, force them to go to bed at five so that the staff has time to put them all to bed before they go home from work. When you get old in Sweden you cannot take for granted that you can live with your husband since 50 years because you and he might end up on different wards in this hospital like home. When you get old in Sweden you can forget about the sun against your face or the fresh air because you might not ever be taken out again in the open. When you are old in Sweden you get hid away, so that everyone forgets about you even your children. As soon as you end up on a home you should try to forget you have ever lived because this will just be a long and lonely wait for death.

That’s why it is so nice to go out in a park in Warsaw and see old people still enjoying life; I’m not used to that from Sweden.

Written under the influence of The Cinematic Orchestra - Music Box

The infinite distance

Don't let emergency training become your whole life.

J. Luber

The result

So after hard work and long arms, this is the result:

Swedish cinnamon buns

American chocolate chip cookies

Unfortunately the cookies won over the buns so USA vs. Sweden, 1-0 :(

Again with the blond moment

So I'm at the tram stop.
Have just been buying all these ingredients, cause me deer American friend will teach me how to make chocolate chip cookies.
I told her before i left for the store that i will call her and leave the ingredients at her place (the baking is not to take place until tomorrow).
My hands and arms are hurting from all the carrying and I'm so relieved that i will be able to get rid of the stuff at her place and not drag them all the way home to me.
So I call her, polish guy starts to talk in the phone, ahhh, annoying.
I call her again, still this polish guy.
I try sending her a message, the message fails to be sent.
I call her again, the polish GUY!!!
I get home, with arms as long as gorillas (or orangutans, or whatever animal that have long arms)
I try calling her to tell her that i will not show up at her tram stop, but again with the polish guy.
After half an hour she calls me and wonder where I am.
I tell her about the polish guy and that there must be something wrong with her phone. We talk about possible faults for quite some time, I call her again to see if anything have changed, but no, still the polish guy.
Then something hits me...
...I check the money on my sim-card
0 zl
Hmm....!!!

My camera is so cool!

Actual color of shorts

My cool cameras work:

Babies and all the hazzle

I always been afraid and slightly bored about the idea of having children. Ok they might be nice to look at when they are asleep, but while awake hmm, what to do with them.
A while ago i really detested the idea of children so to change it I started to work as a kindergarden teacher. And yeah I have to say it was a really fun job, especially when i could do some sociological test on them, and pretend that i was God.
To some boys who refused to play with girls, I told them that i was a boy. They got very confused and didn't really know what to think of me (well you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I hope i thought them that). Just because I have a girl name and have long hair doesn't necessary mean that I'm a girl.
One other time i told some kids that i could talk with the animals, we went to a farm and they asked me what the animals said (couldn't really spoil their amazement, and it was a nice feeling to be able to speak with the animals). Best was when we where in at the chickens and they smelled like crazy, I told the kids that the chickens didn't want us there anymore and that we had to leave (haven't been easier to make children obey me as that time).
So children turned out to be fun, although there was tiring moments as well. I was always so tired at morning so i sat down with a kid and gave it a puzzle (it took ages for them to solve it, they were not that smart when it comes to puzzles, not even when there was only four pieces!!) and then i usually fell asleep for a while, by the time i woke up they were still trying to solved it. Sometimes though the children gossiped on me and told some teacher that I was sleeping....hmm!

Ok long paragraph there just to get to the end statement, because now I'm back in the idea that children is not that fun to have around, but i started to watch this documentary show on SVT about midwifes on a Swedish hospital (a very nice show) and last episode I even cried when they delivered a little "it". But then i saw a mom with awful stretch marks on her belly and all my maternal feelings were gone with the wind.

It will take a while until I'm fully prepared for one of those small things. I guess that is a good thing, for both me and that little person.

Written under the influence of The Maccabees - Precious Time